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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
( e0 k+ d- V6 [0 w0 ?' Y8 Z- p- T& C- t1 p
4 |' Y5 R0 i+ ^今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
; D1 `5 Z) M7 V7 Z* m l; J我先来！
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; a5 U% O( }8 m' D: p- L6 M5 G- _. M z) {5 B3 n
A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”) Z, Q" j9 F' G
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”2 Q$ e+ d/ S0 b0 G- _
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1 r' `7 k" E. }) c/ X6 s, g: u深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"% O. J$ m2 U; I7 i( h1 [
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，" {: I: C7 @- w- n+ W! u' e
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！” ?( j% K6 S) `4 ~6 J' q
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，6 d) Q: Q7 w' Z! v
所以非常受欢迎。, {$ x% t, x9 Y) P* g% \
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
4 \; R* u7 {' K% I6 c6 i( S. P& {问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
% p" M7 s! o2 }: X+ G7 T% T大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，; w% R1 N1 ~, t7 G D
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
4 o! W% D; e' E% {有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
7 W. c$ V: ?, V3 I- Q( o) ?不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
3 D1 _- u9 N- E }. t2 N她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪3 K+ h2 w' ^' j2 G9 M
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。9 E) e, N. a- W% U
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。" |7 X5 S6 m9 V" ^/ e Z
小明：不行" N8 C' C7 s3 q9 ?- b5 Z3 i
老师：為什麼？+ T# o6 o& n! C8 `6 K
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
, U; Y6 @7 Z7 R: i6 p% ~小明：我是照你的话做的
' U; Z6 r$ e/ E [: u% B妈妈：我说了什麼？
2 W' ]. F1 y4 J小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
8 q7 R+ p9 @' x- k她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，/ i8 c# T; j+ ~$ h
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
- R+ V1 S7 u3 z* x+ V小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
+ n, ]& K5 _, u8 o: Y妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？+ ?& s/ u* K$ m
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
) S' n+ Z" P0 X9 l1 j3 y2 W* w然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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, q s0 g5 j+ i5 u! P+ @) |- R$ D0 D! R: v7 W! Z0 ^/ Y* k' l
大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。# f. m8 U& a2 I$ s, ~ w
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