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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐9 \& U' }' Z! v" E& j
% Q, ~5 f5 E5 a, D* S2 W
0 J! u c. G! c! \" L今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
# b2 X( d% U6 n我先来！6 U1 o+ ]6 g- ^4 ]9 T; t
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
# ?8 C$ d, @% j9 R同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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5 ~" f! _, }/ p
深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
& k; S$ s; ^/ o3 _; n2 a/ z) Y1 K' j2 ]0 G$ R, Y, \
+ d" J/ u* R( j& p; L9 G& t7 g一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，$ |9 [$ A6 v7 C
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
6 f) r6 X B( A8 K2 y6 x弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，8 t4 P! O9 l/ D2 n4 v" O2 i& `
所以非常受欢迎。
v2 _/ X8 i+ I" @5 a第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
) `3 G9 P2 M5 H* t问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
0 E. I9 o3 U7 Z9 z大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
1 ~2 I# `5 N% C5 z7 d回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
) |( f2 C0 E; i! S有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！5 v' N2 D& K/ F
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
) _0 z: v' y: c# n! J$ _' t她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
1 z$ d5 W: J; D3 ^5 E* L: H生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。- G7 E4 x4 ]( Q% c1 ?
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。: r7 N, T3 D) Q' N+ H3 {0 F; g7 ]+ I
小明：不行
3 V7 b" f0 U0 T" W0 s老师：為什麼？3 A/ E) v: R. }( z0 {( [
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分; v3 |" I: E. g# z. u
小明：我是照你的话做的+ T. B1 t: b) m9 l' ~; a5 w* q
妈妈：我说了什麼？5 ^2 z0 O3 O5 ?" q6 X
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，+ y& g5 W8 C; Q* z
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，4 L1 @ Q5 z8 q8 M4 B/ _
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”0 p9 Q, b. x" L# b) n
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
S& N7 R: `/ m, X6 D妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
9 y4 b @) X5 w0 Q小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！3 b% Y7 n( S9 t* P' U
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
8 G9 K9 ^4 ?' a7 ]: C5 D: M/ t. F8 @4 J8 e' e9 P( n# J
& x" v2 u. X- J8 k2 \: Z大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
- U2 l& c, O' A' N4 K8 s0 V% d) L# `" W; v$ Z: e" Q- H( \! F
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