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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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$ K9 C4 S1 b; N& X今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！, D% _/ _! ^1 h2 ]1 J! l* I3 b
我先来！
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”: ?( e9 G, I4 q! Q9 j K
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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h* r f2 g2 L( f2 y6 z, q深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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4 c4 P. Q* r- m8 _一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
+ C% w3 j( J, s! S; X/ G4 a每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”$ f$ @4 c9 T' n1 H; k4 N
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，3 I9 ?/ y" w! s, M3 W! j
所以非常受欢迎。( _$ l* r$ Q, c, Z; ]- ?+ Y6 b
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
: L! U- C1 r" F4 t% Z$ d问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”6 n9 {8 a7 o6 o) T3 ^3 \
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
- ^( L" r# n5 a6 ?9 S! G3 y3 d回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：, ]/ E2 u0 A( R% S
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
+ c% ^) S* F7 Z$ s2 D' E不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
, j- X# k' C' M她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪* M) Z; f2 D6 u" \
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
. H: F- ?. Q" ^$ Y( S5 d于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
/ U1 `) m7 o/ W e( s! ?+ p7 w小明：不行( C% m* K2 A' s1 H# ^( H
老师：為什麼？3 u" I$ Q; ?# { V: U
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分& t+ U4 t2 C, a$ f; C: D. S' s
小明：我是照你的话做的
0 z% J% q% [5 R3 U妈妈：我说了什麼？ x3 I% }3 z6 {1 I: B- Z" G
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，# j0 [ q X& K4 t% L
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，$ B$ ^9 a% j$ ~9 n* N
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？” {! I! j- z S
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？; J* q; J. u T+ O( U2 b
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
+ o0 I; H! k2 u4 Y5 _" ~0 v小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
- h# p- H4 ?' ]& X然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ ; w; G! o( H7 U
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3 V4 a' v6 r+ h" U7 m7 p1 k; R大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。3 O: `/ \6 Q# o( ]
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