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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
4 C3 ~: K5 K! S3 D我先来！
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8 k3 S w6 c WA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
8 j/ X: o0 `' V: B$ e& d同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"6 F5 G# B8 e) L/ w
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v; L4 |- S( J+ g, u- N4 V$ f一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
" i$ }8 w2 X: p8 y% a; m+ G; e每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”6 I9 l/ A. I' q) N3 Q6 ]
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
6 f1 d V D* W0 k2 @所以非常受欢迎。
2 b+ F3 c9 h, h( t/ i/ C5 k: R2 B第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，# ?" U: v$ F8 P. Z" s# {' {
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！” d+ F) ~9 h+ \0 a- G( x
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
3 k d1 ` s" e回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
' s: k9 P* o% p. Q8 x% \5 j有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！' c& h5 y" }5 ~6 G' U0 T
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
3 v/ F. A( y/ G# q2 u2 K5 H她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪5 E6 u5 G* N: C J/ \; t
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
) w% K& [) W/ Z& q. l于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
; _+ y' r1 |0 _5 H0 e9 j& w小明：不行
" n) I5 N# ?6 I老师：為什麼？5 H8 W3 S; n5 B2 ~
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
0 m6 h* `( {, l) ]: R( P小明：我是照你的话做的( c: E3 c& S$ f3 w4 w" V" ?
妈妈：我说了什麼？
7 R$ @& j8 S# E+ a+ z. I+ v小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
0 a. ~, g& ?' l/ E她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，" a3 a, R: f) k: Z8 u" c2 {1 B
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”7 Y" U: I6 ]6 c0 h3 @) p& r
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
* q5 P/ {) h& g8 F2 a* w妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
/ Q/ p! Y& [( V6 O/ ]( P0 D4 r小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！2 k, n& _0 j+ |7 V
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。" y4 ~9 z/ ? |/ _" y
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