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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐. m3 Z) V6 A* V7 y3 f+ v) m- L7 A
3 G' b/ x6 L( R+ X6 ?1 o5 {
) m* Q& i, S6 j" s今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
$ \& t' z! S; g我先来！; |# `: _% W7 p- l3 ]
0 R! [; R) {, _ I5 I/ s$ `. B# H. @, Y- J
A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”0 d. Z0 N! u2 A1 T# i
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”! F K7 |5 N5 k0 C7 D
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"0 Y5 f7 j/ n, W6 p( d* J
5 Z% ], q; e6 b
! z- }& d* w4 }; R一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，! ^4 [3 Y: V9 W$ e3 ~# l4 X' o% E6 s+ \
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”1 M4 k M/ M- C4 e/ j7 U
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
4 N! D: U8 H( E1 Z( b所以非常受欢迎。
_! w- ?: e- v. \9 o) o第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，8 M0 ~3 V- ?; ]& B, h
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
3 f2 s9 k1 j" k2 `0 ?9 ~# u6 t) V大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
6 I8 o( ^1 ]: g& y6 f- w5 C% ^回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
- N6 e1 W8 f* ?5 c: A# m有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
! g$ c: U- n7 {( L, b% _5 l不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”) ?7 x* p# Y( }# P" g$ |% j/ i
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
1 B: }. U! @2 S3 u% [1 G生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
. A; D' F/ D# }+ u6 w9 J于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。# |. l5 q4 `# v# F) O* g2 W
小明：不行
& i. Q: N- @! }9 l0 I' \老师：為什麼？
- P. `$ o" u& P6 G小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分8 [. Y+ h5 @7 n3 n3 Q
小明：我是照你的话做的: R3 u1 @) f, n' B7 O/ c0 L
妈妈：我说了什麼？
( S7 q2 I; }4 s小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
: C! F# B! t. r$ w# D她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
. k/ J- w! h$ {3 A7 _5 [ m就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
0 I0 p2 D( D3 d, h小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？/ o. K0 i1 X f6 f5 H& I' M; \
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？$ l ~% q z! x2 f( _1 i
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
6 f, z& e7 @% }然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ ( q2 Z& U f8 ^/ a& |
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, k; T# s% m7 r2 @8 G- ?9 Y大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。3 A9 V$ t: U0 g3 ]; X
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