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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐 ]/ V- c; K: j( T: Y; c3 M: T
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+ m% k j9 P7 ~今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
& l- t% `8 E& _我先来！8 L+ u& ^& y- \2 t
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# { e( K/ w5 M( ]5 TA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
, f* z* G+ U+ `, Y ?7 Q- U同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”, _* f# t5 \. D4 w8 P- P$ j# z
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9 {" T3 i8 j' ]# K深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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) R" x$ ^! s0 x) |6 I. n/ F一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，# n: R2 m2 B6 A# b
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
' v9 K7 T& V9 @弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，3 I: s' H& r% n& f* C8 U
所以非常受欢迎。
d- Z* k6 Z' T- ?) B1 f* F第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
+ f* k! h; y) N0 S/ q6 K+ m% F5 f- r4 z问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”3 u, _0 Y. t* V; J2 c+ s6 z8 V
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
5 N' H; z# Q" t( ]7 ^# |回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：4 `( \8 \: U- J) ~7 \
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
& e3 d0 ]0 v1 l6 M8 w/ o不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
; M" V9 U" t/ @8 a$ z; L9 a' |她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
) w+ G8 c% s4 c! d" ~+ S' H生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
7 w+ _" ^* A; |* d0 A于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。7 u$ b0 S' t( Q1 K
小明：不行! h+ ^( P. ^; a3 ~9 Q; u p4 G
老师：為什麼？6 D0 Q; T9 T5 `+ t8 E6 \, Y3 v
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
7 f( R" Y D; o4 V5 X小明：我是照你的话做的( ]% f: @: h: p
妈妈：我说了什麼？
. |6 [" M6 }+ Q# x, E小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，! l) Q" J8 k! \- E
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，. ]8 J% |6 C% B3 `8 \
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”) K6 x4 b" s# `" E/ m/ u+ c& I
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？) m& @; x5 b# Q% K& G+ f
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？: w/ w- P+ V- J% g- L
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
% c/ M* g9 |' ^( r2 H然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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9 |, ~3 ?) ]( R, M, j0 x7 ^6 B# P' Z. n" X$ ?3 t5 Q* P7 F+ A
大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。6 s! x+ u" Y. b# D* {+ y1 L; m
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