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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐; q: u! J+ b6 A5 \8 _
$ Z% z* Z5 `) p- c. ^
9 p+ e3 j/ j- D. j8 t# T今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！. G8 y. ?+ w' f, j( z
我先来！: D: P2 T2 m, w) Q- L
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& {, C. w' p( |& c4 C2 f; R+ YA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
4 T+ l0 }5 x8 Y& v( v同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”( k6 _- o! u9 Z A. U% z9 G8 y" f
5 Y j8 q: P( l6 i5 F
1 c8 Q1 U. D2 e* V( Z深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"2 r/ L" b) H6 o3 }7 e
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0 Q9 \ N& w$ h& [
一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
& ]. _. E* k I/ ~$ S0 g每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
( J( e, }: [$ B/ O% ~弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
. K8 m! G; Q+ V$ w4 w* I所以非常受欢迎。
& L2 e4 I# H3 N3 P第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
. J! y; R5 \" S% U g/ g1 Y问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
1 P2 F6 W1 \: d5 O" |6 Q$ b大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，1 Y* \ n4 K6 j: F
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
: o: ^5 v9 a5 T8 u有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！( i. a, L; [( n! |
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”# r/ L8 F8 E3 }1 n* y7 X$ z, t& l( \
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
4 I% k K5 e1 {3 s. X X( k生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
( H: `: p; A0 B4 y2 @+ e; f# b- y于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
: ?. p8 ?$ l- ]. O5 x) g小明：不行
# ^" g2 k. D$ J9 B/ {# |/ j! u老师：為什麼？, y8 k7 ~2 B* Q+ y9 m( M
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
3 x5 \' P$ O( x/ l1 G+ i$ x小明：我是照你的话做的; z0 m" v+ L% k; K6 M
妈妈：我说了什麼？5 N( w8 x" w! h9 Z
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
2 f7 `! I* \3 V" p6 C! _7 d她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
5 K7 z, |' Z2 z# n9 G& \2 m5 ^就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
9 [2 B8 X* [8 H/ c+ q; S# ~小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
: ?* ?: X, Y6 I4 _; N4 {' ?* P1 g妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？1 z% F/ P# d* T( J
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！5 m1 N. S2 l' I9 {4 D9 L# V- R* c- W3 _
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ / T7 \0 I" W9 n. l# \0 r U
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+ V- k! r( c7 C/ |/ U大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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