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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐5 V% u/ I5 H+ Z5 J" g6 r
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6 `- P7 V5 ~2 D+ x5 R% g8 V今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
" x; n, B" X- t" X+ Z4 s% X3 S U我先来！
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
$ V0 y- S# n8 }( Y/ t同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”3 `& l/ [$ @! q1 f6 q) U6 x$ D
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& n6 s% N# y/ o深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"1 i" h0 Q% ^* b$ u
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' N( y/ {. T V7 d+ ?* o9 c一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
) E" E! O+ R" J每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”! g1 z' @2 C- R9 b5 C% N2 @% i
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
: l! g" k, L! P y$ ]所以非常受欢迎。
, G9 ?( B3 T. u, t- D第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
% P2 d1 p: c) u; e9 Z问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”! s) ?2 j- M6 s( J* j0 r+ G. p
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，% {; Q# F7 D$ N8 O' K* H( `
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：2 F' D! Z+ W! Z' g0 G9 y0 \
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！6 ?- k3 t9 D! w
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”: W- }3 b! {7 c7 K
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪2 j2 H+ O9 g( J( t/ C% W
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。6 T6 F) h: U# h/ ]) L
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。2 p' |, O. ~) W* S' k! r4 J
小明：不行
' S3 E$ F5 y' D3 j5 Q, e( o老师：為什麼？& b: C, n; B L8 O0 W& {
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分; Z" y& R0 O; t+ P3 ] \# ?
小明：我是照你的话做的9 U1 o7 P% r4 k+ Z
妈妈：我说了什麼？7 Y4 }* X/ m: l
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
+ ^7 |; ~1 _6 e5 K, M( j" U" d她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，# M2 \% x% I, n- l8 Y$ J4 i% V
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”0 X a7 {- j+ U
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
9 g( o& e, G, P$ Q7 w妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
& Q+ y; v) C( @小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！" E3 H& v5 t$ F2 q& i
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ ' B& v: h: y8 i6 H3 F, }: z! V
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. ]* S( @# |2 E* d0 r! q! l4 @1 F4 Y大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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