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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐* C9 W) g* C/ v% z7 V6 R
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
& c* k |: K% k! B5 b+ \我先来！
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”3 d4 l# |( ^' s5 x% X
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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8 U; j0 g. U1 Y+ O深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"4 C+ {6 M% b& [. t
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( }& C! ~8 M- I) a一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，" J: i8 i D( }" Q, s
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
' O9 L+ P" W& Y7 N- O弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，/ _% h) T" Q+ @8 L+ Y
所以非常受欢迎。
4 C& f. `9 q! R) e! O" n: [3 L% u第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，- ] V& z4 N, O3 J( q, y0 P
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
( k1 o$ p( h9 X. a大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
2 v" m8 t+ W7 [回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：+ u' p' z# r& T v
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
" E9 Y2 l! K; {# ]% C! K5 Y. M不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”- X V! A* v0 l3 ^* k9 j5 e: S7 w6 s
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪6 t0 A$ N+ z& ~0 ?
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。! l4 U7 {8 C1 l
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。! M3 S. x0 Q1 i) m( Q
小明：不行4 ]7 _3 s1 [6 E
老师：為什麼？
- Q: d8 N" S1 a+ J( {5 x小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分; e- q! t; r$ l# K
小明：我是照你的话做的
; m/ y6 r. R8 M m) d" H) O( ?妈妈：我说了什麼？
; P# e |; X8 [- `+ a( I小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分， M/ E/ ` c8 C! {) R5 E
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，4 e4 a) \5 L5 {* N5 k1 P
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”" C3 j9 H$ L; a5 {+ W/ l: \. ^
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？; V+ l5 ?0 N0 ~5 m( r
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？' P; N0 M* L f3 c; P
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
# E- ~+ t% {. t+ m3 @( h然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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