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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐 P" f$ j P# H {& ~
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( U0 s' w! D9 z7 G今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
& n! p$ ?* k. \5 _! T: W7 f我先来！! N: Q, J7 z, `2 \ y5 n, r
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”3 O3 b8 |0 F- L- h3 Z. I2 e2 z. M2 m
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”( N2 K) F( S- p# X1 ^9 I, s+ Y4 u$ U
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"3 z5 F; B- A: W' F$ w4 [
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，' y' [) a. P: D* c N, d
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
1 E: V# `7 O& J; ~* F C! W; Q弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，, n0 Z9 n0 w1 n
所以非常受欢迎。' B6 F- I. J% g
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，4 }( L1 j# r" z1 T" B2 e/ o
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
' X! c% ], x7 v1 M8 X大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
/ d5 i$ a" A3 z& H( B回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说： z) j |& b8 E* w/ C! y/ u _4 k
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
% m4 y1 h8 Y4 A$ \/ _# `- I: m1 m不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
8 T- k) x. a: A3 ]! w. j她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
3 U. W% E% k6 h9 q: m8 H8 i* _ n生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
. l1 p$ Q4 F0 g- D" M+ U于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。: ] `& B/ a- r% N
小明：不行/ w9 q+ A e- h7 O' H0 b# m: x
老师：為什麼？
$ d+ q% N) J" i Y- P8 @) k: f/ g小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分$ c9 n1 ?: w! f# b
小明：我是照你的话做的" S6 e* W0 k, y1 z, `% T! [- G& f9 D
妈妈：我说了什麼？
- c- E+ B' g+ A, R- H" P小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
( ^9 C+ w9 c7 M8 L* ~* B她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，/ K8 r; o( f3 a x4 B7 B% M$ O) \
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
7 D `6 Y+ X+ Z小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
! U. E7 Z( O2 @( R: \- i! g1 ]$ ?0 i妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
) h& G) v& z, t0 z# X4 M$ ]: j! G! `( G小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
/ U- O$ G% |( \% _ I* I然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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; j% k9 l$ v/ I- }' e" v. f2 m. y大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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