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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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9 q$ d' ]' m( v8 m今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
/ G- [4 Y. ?+ m7 e我先来！
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& k1 A! U1 k% l0 }1 M$ PA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
( u7 K9 j3 E c$ Y" f同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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: z' Q! ] N9 E- x" h' c4 |深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
2 M1 \8 o* u% f5 c, q每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”6 }9 E. I/ i, {. U# c
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
* a) _& A x3 L* d6 X所以非常受欢迎。
9 U- C3 \" |! I$ h3 F8 |: D第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
6 [/ X- v: t4 x* c7 |! A问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
9 d% Q( O$ I- T0 k; E% j0 O大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，( [1 k& V, y. X. | Z( D& `1 U
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：6 ~" d1 m; ?8 S9 t4 T, v
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
! c, n, m. S; T+ v0 d不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”0 W1 L. }) X3 w5 V- y
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪 \7 I4 i. s% v5 ?0 x4 \
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。9 U* z' h3 r) D' E
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。6 ?: w1 t5 B( b( g3 P
小明：不行
1 T& ~/ G: N4 y, [2 ~% c' e老师：為什麼？ r* }; H, A1 I7 D, p
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分; r( [ J; w# P; s( g$ y
小明：我是照你的话做的/ ~" Q9 W+ J- M8 ^) \2 V
妈妈：我说了什麼？1 q9 n9 h3 ~6 R' I
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
0 S$ Q2 ~, P1 c5 p! R% z: \; C" c她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，( p7 x; F' L3 ^7 }' Q" x
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”# i$ p5 K7 r* E
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
8 }- c4 @8 [6 I j( E6 x妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
2 S9 C7 {) ^0 j$ a小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！6 J( N* ?+ z( l$ k6 _
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ 2 P1 p& C( L& H
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。6 m& M1 x3 u' a. I/ c. S+ i. X
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