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1.局花2 ?. t' ?+ H, X! E3 u; F' X( t
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
( |" R% b2 R- A' ]) @( L心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，8 _1 h1 I( V9 }# }
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
" \% ]/ G9 l9 |/ b6 p: n; {1 w评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么6 J2 J4 @7 x% y# b4 w3 T
7 m( g- i9 ]) c7 N# K; o
2.媳妇
; Z7 } f5 q- D7 O, n10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
' M, m: _) Y5 e5 o: x5 D他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”# {0 u; b" J+ h. h
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”; n5 S$ T7 G9 Y0 U# p4 W% c
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺( s6 @0 i3 ]+ S! [
) N: {# Z" `$ t+ {3.倒贴+ |& g( E$ a2 m! \) U6 O1 v F& Y; K# Z
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
1 {" B# P& q5 q( P- i( M* L6 W于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。0 \' B( [/ r, f
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”5 ]0 L9 c$ S* X1 Y4 \/ B% u
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
5 h8 A% |' a( c1 \0 ~1 z5 _话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，- H, N' X2 B* _& J
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
; U% P. b1 f% @; d$ R评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊$ t) Z! |9 d2 j. \
4 ^" r0 F* k: I5 }$ l/ }& }4.刺激
; X5 Q7 e7 y2 C( o2 ~5 M今天我走在街上，
5 z! _# \) u& H" O9 K- {/ k对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺% W7 h# U9 K0 W _
，我心想完了。
1 u0 d; X( u3 s# Y1 s过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
7 ^: `+ B$ P. J“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。! c* P' C: p( p3 }1 S5 }8 T1 w6 I9 _
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
4 R* s7 n+ @: k) F8 ]评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
5 @7 t. K/ S8 `3 Z6 ?
$ g# k; V {2 @6 R5.不加倍
0 x" J! e% |. G, z: C小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，1 N. n+ T6 a% F; b V2 p) |
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
( O3 T6 U- E) Y8 W3 h9 k% z# H, ~& K; k老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
' P# B7 x8 q$ ~- L小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”1 Y" P: R5 b' U* }8 r$ q* r
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”1 m6 \& ~ w6 v$ a
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的* Z8 O3 C& z$ T0 z. ?
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