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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”4 u2 {. L: n1 _ Q
+ t) Z! m+ x: q N- T2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
! z3 }5 j }/ |+ X! n8 }! d
" J+ ~9 C1 D: |* K( ?# @8 P/ ^$ ?男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”. z$ |, @, k4 Q5 O
3 \1 U/ Y B! d! K }) i3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。
; S( [) ]3 ?7 |* s4 {9 [8 Q! y/ s! m3 I+ ?
老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。6 ]; ^3 s% Z* Q% u( e: _
7 |1 ~: k) y- n4 T女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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笑死我了。。。
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，
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: E; l9 j$ A+ N6 _/ B可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!
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8 N" w3 c- B) h) c. E她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!3 I2 ^6 T' Q: _5 l, I
$ Z! @; ~, P" [. u+ u
晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
$ Z8 @+ R+ r: |) y: N$ j l& j. x0 S+ K7 l% R; m' A, Z3 N
恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，) t' Y* l7 ~0 \: A
0 D- V0 b$ K, f. @1 G就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
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( G v9 z/ ^' o" v3 a9 c- ]" g孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…
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5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，
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7 r5 y+ A1 S) O4 z* ^9 k9 k我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！
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* P7 v0 C0 b s3 A一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。
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& }" z( h2 r2 `, ~当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？$ S" T: b5 Y0 P$ Y
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我，无业闲人一个。& P; l! n1 |% D+ g
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女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？
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3 N( L8 Z% ?7 z8 Q$ @, k! j我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。) I) ?& [% H. O- `4 y
0 }+ l4 ]9 D* D2 \女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
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当前离线
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