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1.局花
& O4 C% F. [2 [/ |局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
% t$ g% ~+ |0 p1 V/ v# n心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
+ Q, _. \% u& I6 u小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。" s+ a" R! \+ `" D" A
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
4 }& ]- h: Q" k# w
! Z) z- N1 |4 g! U- U2 g2.媳妇
; g! x5 d# j/ p4 }0 {! T' {10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。6 G# }4 J/ O4 \8 ^
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”; i, e9 s& L7 Y3 k3 W# a7 _4 w) S! d6 d
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
# ^% F- q# {9 O4 K5 t B评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
6 t! x- F' O) K1 j' w% u$ ~5 i7 L, s# }; F% I4 x* m$ R
3.倒贴6 E \6 r/ ^' w( V6 B9 V* _: [9 `
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。: e* V" L& Y4 z
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。, h: P7 ]) H3 S+ F1 a) R* M
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
7 G8 E& \% { G) o老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
: d3 l" z) |; D& ?: e话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
% @0 e+ @6 |+ Z5 v1 ~“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”6 Y+ l. _9 R$ t4 t: @" G
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
5 t9 g; k1 g2 o
X& x' i1 \7 Z0 ]. A3 [4.刺激: |' I9 E; v3 D* n' `. ^
今天我走在街上，# H$ R! C3 Y3 B$ J& _4 m9 M
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺' ?6 r1 r) d% C, g; v
，我心想完了。
$ o! z* T) w% [$ g/ j$ J过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。$ U M: ]( ^. d0 q; h H
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
- E6 C5 S# d9 b尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！3 m- C P9 G) Z4 z7 l& I! U/ T
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激8 B( o$ M5 y" t9 |8 \
3 x6 F2 R! {* Z. l' w5.不加倍* }! m# P+ [# _. Q/ X
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，$ H8 U. S6 L x& r
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。1 @5 m) q7 J7 T6 ` h+ N, L
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
4 {6 o$ D) {4 W, i# B小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
. s" }$ }2 m$ H" m$ L小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
% X% V. s, f+ i7 ] A+ \% H评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
: h: X2 v0 ~. r- H# ?8 }, } |
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