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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”
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2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”$ a3 `6 r. E* E* f" A
$ ?# J9 g* F1 @! d男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”4 |% V" p0 P/ n, \0 R1 k
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。6 o, o5 Z# q" D* G
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老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。. y$ d) [- X3 g) I6 c' N
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女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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笑死我了。。。; v! \. o' m) _( S' r0 b" w
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，
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: p; ]1 e5 E/ O可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，3 o0 q7 Z \* N7 n D
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!' o( i- S4 c* i! S
$ Z0 w, s. l0 i T3 w她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!6 h# e! {/ X* ^+ P
2 P# n' {7 Z$ t! o* C; ?6 P# r晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
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6 i# P3 k7 Q U/ L恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
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4 [4 }- c) b: D3 f6 h3 x' d! a孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…
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5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，) L# s4 G* S* a8 O0 Z( r/ g# E. j' `
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我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！! a! p. G4 [3 S1 l1 W' ]
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一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。
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当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
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. W. Y/ f( r7 g: }: r我，无业闲人一个。% g% a2 r3 N$ Q
3 w7 h; R2 ^ v" b7 m: d女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？5 S, X. k* v& y/ T! C
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我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。
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) k0 U$ n- o* T+ T: y女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
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当前离线
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