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1.局花
/ P" v, R2 \2 R. a局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
( X8 G4 u* q$ K4 y2 G3 g. ~. I心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，! K6 }6 o: V: E% P) G; }
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
- a# ?, D0 v3 u( n% }$ Z" @: i5 p7 y评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
# m- h# I& g$ V( r6 v
# n8 r( \9 L1 @2.媳妇
; u! n6 O8 Q) r# r8 X, ~" b10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。& F+ N3 m6 @* s" E0 }- p) L9 V: V
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
, x0 c4 h2 G Z* R谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”. @& z) h* v( X" @7 ] s
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺" ]- H R! R9 M" ~2 R
- B( L2 R! w' L G$ P3.倒贴 l& m. V) y/ C9 H' x1 z
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
! b( o2 w) g; a% U0 E4 o6 ~于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。! s' J9 e4 l: `) C0 @* @
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”0 r" x$ f6 ~$ H0 v
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”7 O+ k6 c$ S. E2 `0 v2 E2 e/ B2 p, L
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
7 H: A2 f5 q- z“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”: C, g% K' a( K4 m' T& C
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
5 ?7 V5 ~- ]1 r6 ^# z: C8 R2 V# v! p, \4 m2 X
4.刺激
4 r# ^9 z# N2 r3 N' ?5 g$ r今天我走在街上，! B, T8 ?3 c. q2 r+ F7 T2 U
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
) s, T- n1 `( ^. B% E# i，我心想完了。) Z# p6 h4 @) q0 E# S/ Y
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
0 h( q2 U2 ^3 C8 S! p) j4 V5 Z( o" d“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
9 E0 C. n3 D( U) |9 I9 v' h3 l$ Z尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
+ \3 V. m% Q) b8 U/ Y评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激- J' f1 C- \+ D: c3 x. B$ s* L
$ R' S/ P2 R7 I$ ^5 F2 k5 v1 q8 ]. `8 J
5.不加倍
C2 t' e) T5 A" I8 k7 e小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
+ ^( v( F7 _: C+ B7 e/ J- Y今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
4 t+ _& u4 o5 C+ a: F4 ]* L老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
# ^) [+ i0 [& ^- ^# C4 e4 y小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
$ I; F- B' p3 H小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
& g4 h" ?- ~ s) u评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的 @+ l6 m3 O2 ~6 g* ]: P- R6 ]; Y
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