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1.局花
1 p" ^. I Z# \5 d3 t, L* @局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
; H! t* d3 w, r2 x% Y: b7 j心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
5 v- ? w* ]) }" z# g小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。. J: l0 A9 a5 ^
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
" P; x, h+ h! h8 `& I( }, m' m. O! ]( ?7 C' C3 j
2.媳妇0 H- S- p* K+ T2 Y5 J
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。* d, b" B* i! W5 J) [3 ?+ K
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”# @1 O9 Q/ W& q1 ^5 G- u2 R" H
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
, G" V& s a% x4 P2 k' E+ R评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
9 G! l* a# G: B5 n% e% ~# C' ^& z' [2 u: G* ?6 {2 `
3.倒贴
& Z7 W. W# c R& V6 M过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
& @: l3 l0 G$ I于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。6 m5 F% |& U+ I m4 ~9 ^9 K$ u+ N
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”9 M& |9 n9 E3 [8 Q6 E
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”+ s* \9 F# c8 ~! f4 S
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
; V# D3 V7 I: K4 X: v: g5 Z“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
" U5 h7 b+ Z5 C7 @7 T5 t- [8 B6 p评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
j% j3 L2 ~; g- [ j# ~
$ I% j" Y' b! c# }$ h4.刺激
E5 X8 x+ N5 I% `. E/ Z: q4 ~今天我走在街上，
5 c n7 _6 U6 y& M" l对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺) p0 P$ P1 M9 s: j& a# d+ _
，我心想完了。+ O, B. [4 I! S' ~- [# Q+ M
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
) J. y& i u8 |3 m3 ] S: B6 g“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
" S4 B+ } N/ |1 A尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！" A' A) z' l6 V
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激) f3 N4 l( p/ E0 Q2 u$ P
2 l8 |; x+ g3 Z5 T5.不加倍
- F; K% Y, `& l* ?. r5 S小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
/ Q7 C5 h3 F F+ j& G" P8 \今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
8 P7 \5 U, L- ~ h9 [, Q, F8 z. ~老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”9 `: J* O, i8 _! F7 }0 j# K, @
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
6 u; d, _8 } \3 a2 ] I6 I小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”# z$ q5 u7 _1 B6 D8 |& V# T
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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