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1.局花" M# j/ R7 B) G' A
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
( ~; n: ]. ~/ w" `( z: Z* s# v心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
5 p2 q: W& d3 [& ]小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。 B, r0 B9 ~4 D1 {4 M
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么9 L9 f' w% H" \) V6 ~' h
, u6 ?/ n1 L" B8 t- m" a$ c2.媳妇
! ^% d- }2 w c2 h! O ?5 o/ n2 E8 h/ d10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。 Q# u6 e! Z1 U S$ G T; A6 L
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”& M: ?3 m3 y1 A8 M0 ^+ |- U5 n( b
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”! n" W3 A/ D2 L5 C9 O6 @: Y' [
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺" r t. g! D" D; |( q; K
, y' b* L. x2 B0 m3.倒贴
: _* ]- P" T) x" A过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。0 g7 L1 V- [6 f+ \- C
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
7 n; ~& t8 A9 d3 l' ^) H老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”0 X& w' h4 f! c/ X
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”* V& ~! w. A) J" o- \" N$ e
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，* g4 q: V* \; r a: y x6 I* P
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
# j# H/ L8 k6 c6 B8 [ V. |评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊1 n; U9 h+ |5 @* A3 M3 t: N# f/ W
4 _8 l6 v: T! I- n
4.刺激
, ]* t% H7 Q) g7 c今天我走在街上，, C: Q$ c t# E: K+ E. [
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
. Z$ P" }5 x: |，我心想完了。
5 l# ~( _( G) q过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。' M2 N: q t3 a6 N+ g
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
' X% A- s6 Q- I# G$ Q尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！5 m; m) q$ ~2 e7 p6 W% Z& ]
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
/ P# g4 T3 ?5 Y" j
/ d7 D) U* }/ e( v, k: X R1 ~" N3 K5.不加倍
- S- o5 G, p7 c$ O/ Y小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，! ]- p* d, ?- K% v3 m, _
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。# t7 F8 U. x; S8 p/ A
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
% x8 _+ Z7 h% L. M$ I* l: c2 u/ P小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
( V* F; d2 W: V) {# E小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”0 w1 i/ y+ r% c; T7 ]; {
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的/ \* X! J2 A8 b, n
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