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1.局花1 ^% D6 \1 V# K. j
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
9 k) ~2 j; e, h. b心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，+ J: P+ [' n, {' |6 e1 o# l. P
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
; u( n; {8 r: b8 e8 k' h评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
9 n/ O' ~( |4 W) T* p P& p7 e/ b9 C F) f
2.媳妇% j+ D% A. s' @/ F* y
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
5 E/ m0 L# |# n$ R8 s. g他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”# X( ~2 K- V8 q/ ?9 D, Z6 x9 _
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”- g9 c: u5 {- W/ N. U9 A& {
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
5 b, `" z- r- v7 q9 e) J5 h( U! P+ N. b* j
3.倒贴- b: B# q W Z# F2 K8 J
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
! _9 ~+ a; C. G" |: G+ C于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。/ ?6 J2 A* `6 V, I& h
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”$ u" }" j8 u# h) ]
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”. E+ V0 T' d, P/ C" t4 \' G. K
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，# s( I& M/ ~7 y, C' ?
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
7 j3 N( A6 S% S- R- G" p$ O评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊5 D# g9 g; D4 T O8 D3 m
0 t7 v. ~( I# A, ^7 i% H4.刺激6 E1 m% U9 K4 v8 m
今天我走在街上，
8 |" x+ X2 y5 C0 ?对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
4 L: v" C/ P& L6 i0 L7 q，我心想完了。
, R( k9 U: t. g U过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
- {* S/ i1 W, G1 Z5 a“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
( X0 D. d/ n' R3 T; @尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
: E4 s0 ?) x8 Q* d评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激0 x" z9 }3 ]6 p+ W' q) A4 r- U1 W
& @3 U7 o* \) X4 S \( \, T( O8 d5.不加倍
) Q x6 X. [1 S# `! f! z小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，: g: d' S! U* J: g6 t0 }% }4 u
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。+ t# u! m7 F" {+ B9 c# v6 e
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
: x. S7 e. y- K/ ^# n. K小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”; G& ?* u7 K4 Y, q$ F
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
& K1 H% Q2 t. ?6 J* K. A0 d评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的9 b( H( T: \6 l9 ~' L6 W' A3 |
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