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1.局花0 ~/ ]' I- H) @+ O( Y: i
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，) ~- E, G7 I, m) M) U. G
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
$ i' v$ e9 n; c% Q. M. H9 @- K小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
1 O# X; \: U( ^1 O$ ~评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么7 I& {( v3 s! |2 W2 l: f& L
+ V- {# l, O! y, X
2.媳妇
6 X0 U ^6 Y5 I! R10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。# P' v7 U5 v- o- B5 x- Y. g) D" w% J/ r7 Y
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”7 a" L% {- X2 ^3 {
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
7 |7 o* S2 Y* Y; ?6 [5 N' w3 R) o, l$ r, {评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺9 j1 c/ S+ a/ E5 u8 ?
1 t* u+ h3 r& Q9 }
3.倒贴
* h) |0 o7 l5 r/ ]( L0 B过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
/ I: p" [* _# Y; C于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
& ^4 s2 T9 V0 N9 N- M7 C2 \老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”8 {" I4 C- k' j4 w, C
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
. k% E* q9 X) o. F7 {& s% N话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，# j6 _& v7 g4 {% |( l1 u
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”( I0 u. Z& E- S# d: ?/ X: _
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
+ s1 `* @6 L5 N: b' f `7 E1 {' t4 u. q, @0 `& p% M
4.刺激
0 |0 N& P+ e# H* O. C' i# m( Z今天我走在街上，
* l+ E- D7 x! P$ U对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
. i) k4 W1 k) O4 S& }* L- B/ T，我心想完了。
: X* ~/ l- e8 R过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
6 R0 c9 O* x2 r, K, T( M“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
5 a- N" \) ~! p# B+ Z% {) H$ i尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！: }+ E- u7 }2 ~0 I. E% ?$ @! q. i
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激. B4 A' x( N( b' l) B" _
# H# v$ \, e& }5.不加倍% e3 b) [/ X6 X. O8 r% C' E/ v2 J( ?" |6 F
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，) ]2 Q, q; E$ V5 f9 d
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
' K& p- q) ?* z. }! D老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
7 v8 B2 `& k& d& f2 h小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”( J" R1 U3 \3 d6 `; z# y: E
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
, E" x C& M, @. s6 y8 }+ ^评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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