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1.局花
0 {1 z% p7 M5 U" y. i. r# D) ]局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，7 g6 s$ |' |8 y" e6 E1 b0 a% n$ ?8 i
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
3 w* M" x8 d' z小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
- e3 q2 I+ d3 L5 x% b4 S评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么# ^1 C5 f0 s# K( O6 G {
' r8 J; _& I" \: w9 a* d2 Q( {. F2.媳妇
5 p1 g n7 I2 Q& ?* B1 E6 c% T; @10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
2 a, t: [5 o/ Q$ U8 J他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
( _$ O" d; ] s: X$ C0 T谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”1 e& O5 x, s& J* U, w. S8 p
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺. l1 N' N- x, e1 p' e
4 u2 h0 _3 p4 _( E
3.倒贴4 B+ }, _5 M, `
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。$ o! U3 X0 K- b3 C* B
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。. H1 k6 O8 f- K' W" s# I3 A- ?
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”9 u& J" O y0 x- Z- d
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
2 C# d. n! N! h6 {2 t3 G! i3 z% b话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，" u$ }, W/ O# w9 k* {1 z
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
) V' @8 p' o8 M# B评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
; u3 ]1 o2 L3 V) ]0 a: n5 z- Z9 t. l( A) w! H9 M5 B u: m# j2 [. B
4.刺激6 o/ v9 P$ n/ h: ~4 V/ @, G2 F# w
今天我走在街上，, a5 l( `/ S2 C, H- f
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺: T0 S( E5 o! z
，我心想完了。( y& e; W0 ~- Z/ \3 z! [) l* e
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
( q. j4 _5 G6 D4 A“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。! \! F/ p/ r3 T
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！8 D) K* b" p* ~2 S
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激6 B1 ^" b9 B. B
; r4 v6 d; @5 ] m( z
5.不加倍1 _$ ]: U$ e4 i6 x5 B1 w
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
) `! a: ^, K2 n0 y2 ^+ J8 L今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
8 T; ?5 N' j) k: E, M& S5 w老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”! g( b9 ^8 J" K7 q/ c7 C- Z
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
6 w( _; U. I+ \1 P小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
2 @( o4 ^- O) N2 Y7 b评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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