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1.局花
1 Z' B- [8 F7 l/ `! E7 u7 D局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，' R" e$ f! r' {" ^* W, e
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，& W W5 j0 g! r5 x# E
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。, l8 n! o/ `7 M* u0 u4 J
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么. I8 L0 q# {9 u/ o0 I- A
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2.媳妇
' ?9 |8 x1 o i" |( z10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。9 Q# Q" {7 v# |' A: ~9 X& m( o% q
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
1 F' k- I" x9 W' @0 g* Z o' x谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”: ^! E; ~1 o% W' r+ U' k; `: ~" W
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
" W' Z8 @, u$ B( Y0 p N% {* P7 ]+ W& I" j
3.倒贴* a. n. _) s2 H/ h4 D! q
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。; k+ m) F" n! M/ Y1 ~: d
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。8 I; I. Z* P# H
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
& n+ I- Z( M# b1 B老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”5 C$ @) P2 t- }& j0 |; Q
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，6 F6 e: |/ J0 Q9 W
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”/ S+ ~- E8 A' {+ R0 q3 Y
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊9 e3 | p3 ^# D \
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4.刺激
4 t0 h' V c; V3 ~7 H" x今天我走在街上，
2 ^- o8 o9 n! @对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺1 t* E$ D1 v T! L5 b7 R5 t. ?/ B
，我心想完了。
0 v6 \4 ?1 ? W- x2 l; H+ ~3 [- e过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。" y( @2 R' n( K& S) F. k
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
( R F8 n( i; N4 Q9 W4 `+ S, u! u尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
5 | t& w3 v# t% d0 O- Y0 e评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激3 ^2 O( ^8 N# V+ a! {8 |
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5.不加倍
- E* c4 A8 U, y3 V- o3 V小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
3 _; s# j7 m+ [. I3 f今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。& D# N4 }5 ^$ u
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
9 o( l/ \ S" z4 X" m$ f0 C7 K# k小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
. J& h, N. \$ P小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”8 n/ f: Q0 \3 s/ k/ t* r% b0 U S v
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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