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1.局花
, H0 j1 X8 @% X! g A4 c% ?& T局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
1 F3 J* v }+ \心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
8 o/ {" F- c5 w0 W/ r/ n小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。) \' m* l3 b5 R O' m9 N. [3 i
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
9 O! P2 `2 |" q: C
/ Z) _5 R+ C) I j2.媳妇
9 p3 g p2 G' {10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。2 H! k& f* x: p: C3 p$ K
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”2 t1 o* M d3 ^ `- w7 E9 N' U* P
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
. ^' [3 A+ C- [7 i- |) ^6 W评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
+ y; t8 m4 p5 O$ ~) W, G# M
; l/ {" H/ {; t( b3.倒贴; ]# K" s& o6 C) r5 d2 h
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。2 s& w3 h8 N; ~. q' u
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
( B7 S3 f& N; B' E8 ?& Z老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
6 s, i, k3 q' r- Q* Q2 |老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”- ^+ I$ _1 n( ?' }
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
& v: F. e5 L6 h L+ m: @0 t( r“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”5 T! u$ \+ I7 L, b; U
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊, Z. w0 l. P2 P9 b9 j: z z$ o1 ]
1 p D9 `$ p; k6 f1 y. {4.刺激
% F9 B4 x! |0 {8 c/ B今天我走在街上，0 ^3 W4 p( ~! }2 P3 z5 e" U8 A$ T
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺/ r, f- |7 O: A0 m0 y6 [' S
，我心想完了。9 x5 T- b! c. t. ?+ I$ y/ T
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。+ d3 V$ z* [# k- v7 B# K! F
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。. M0 U/ L$ X6 G) X
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
6 J( k) G' k+ j评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激! e% [5 B! L2 Q% X2 w# E7 ~ ^" H* |
/ J/ e6 i3 d( y6 A" `0 g' [
5.不加倍
& U% o! {8 R% y6 S6 S小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
7 w4 W6 w. d7 B7 s1 ?/ J& d今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。& N U1 x7 v4 c7 C
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
# R- n5 j3 C" a# @3 e- X小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
7 I; W& D: u: z5 k' O/ q% T小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”4 z1 ]0 J2 n. k6 z2 b
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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